Nascar Fan's Funeral

Just in time for Christmas

Last but not least of my dead week experiences was my first ever NASCAR fan's funeral. I'm not kidding either. I'd only met him once but had presided over his wedding several years ago. One of the reasons he didn't attend church was because during NASCAR season, it interfered with his reverance for NASCAR. NAsCAR Sunday's are about that.

Have you ever actually thought about how you want to be dressed in the casket. I have thought about how I want to be dressed at my own funeral and my best suit is not it. I'm seriously considering overalls because in most circumstances they are as about as comfortable as clothes get. They would also be a bit more presentable than shorts and a t-shirt as long as they are my good or my dress overalls (as the wife calls them), not the ones she will only let me wear in the garage and around the house.

Sorry, I digress. My point is that NASCAR fan was dressed for his funeral in his best Dale Ernhart, #3, blue demin shirt. And the day of the funeral, all his closest people were dressed in NASCAR gear, right down to the grandkids, who wore his favorite NASCAR hats. I'm not kidding here either.

Here's one of the things I used in my comments. Enjoy!

TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'RE AT A NASCAR FAN'S FUNERAL

10. Casket features an exact replica of the GM Goodwrench paint scheme

9. The deceased is referred to as being "out of provisionals"

8. Heart-stirring eulogy delivered by Dr. Jerry Punch

7. "Amazing Grace" is performed by a 9-year-old girl from Bristol, Tennessee

6. Only the first 43 cars are allowed in the procession

5. Hearse referred to as the pace car

4. Procession weaves back and forth to keep heat in the tires

3. Cars caught speeding leaving the church have to go to the rear of the procession

2. First time mourners have an orange stripe on the trunk of their car

And the number one sign you're at a NASCAR fan's funeral,

1. No coolers over 14 inches allowed in the chapel ;-)